I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i think my cat just said my name.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
