New invention idea: vibrating tampons
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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