Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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