So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
