her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
