hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
