i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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