Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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