im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
