Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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