I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
