people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Who died my cat blue again?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
