He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize
