I saw his package. It spoke to me.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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