Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
