I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
