We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
