i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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