so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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