Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
