just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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