i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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