I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
