I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
