I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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