guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
