I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
