any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
