I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
