we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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