She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
