i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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