Apparently you make a good broom.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
