i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
