Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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