porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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