I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
