i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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