glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
