Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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