Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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