JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
