onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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