a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
