I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
