Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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