Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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