Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
