Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
