I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
