Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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