where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
