That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My feet surprised me
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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